More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2012
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)
25 April
At any rate, the hedline (sic) talks of a doube-decker.
Knowing that a deck denotes part of the equipment of the likes of DJ Skunk, I dare not assume that this is a merror (a portmanteau word*, comprising 'error' and 'mere'), but guess that doube might denote :
* That 'whole dub thing'
* A Routemaster smeared with melted cheese and barbeque sauce
* A bi-plane flown by a dove**
* A love-track sung by Kelly, which went straight to this former partner's heart
Yes, I am too lazy to read 'the actual' story, or rather, me and my doube, we're havin' too much craic... !
Postscript : 26 April
And to-day AOL® excels itself :
Woman defiant against bag theif [sic]
End-notes
* Thank you, Lewis Carroll !
** German Taub.
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Showing posts with label Kelly Brook®. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kelly Brook®. Show all posts
Thursday, 25 April 2013
Sunday, 24 June 2012
Knots in a whale
More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2012
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)
24 June
When Kelly Ann Parsons became Kelly Brook, maybe no one had my inclination to try making Spoonerisms of everything – Belly Crook?
It could mean that she steals people’s stomachs, or, in the Australian sense, that a recent meal disagreed with her. (Either way, I wish that I could erase this thought and think of her name as I used to!)
But names are funny things, and have what the phrase calls a life of their own. How else would an NHS Trust come up with a title for a policy (‘P’ for policy) that spelt out CRAP? You could say that they were at least honest about the worth of the contents…
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Friday, 17 February 2012
Is Kelly Brook really engaged? (asks AOL®)
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)
17 February
No doubt a sage question - does she just think that she's engaged, when she's not*? Probably the poor woman is wondering over** the legitimacy of her engagement as I write!
(Whereas Kelly B. Rook has no qualms - she's never going to leave 'The Rookery' and take up with some other nook, because she's not the marrying kind.)
Meanwhile, is Cameron (only just) beginning to wonder whether he is actually Prime Minister, or whether - as in that masterpiece of paranoid schizophrenia turned into a comedy, The Truman Show (1998) - everyone's just been humouring him?
PS If our Kelly turns out not to be engaged, I seem to remember that she is really a Parsons - she could always go back to her natal name and aim to marry a Mr Nicholas (Paul Nicholas?), or, if she could put her surname first, a Mr Green (or a Mr Nose - or Egg).
End-notes
* And what would - either party not being eligible to marry apart - constitute such an erroneous belief? Maybe false memory that the offer of marriage and the acceptance took place...
** Well, I might have meant 'worrying over' or 'wondering about', but who cares? - it's a portmanteau day, after all!
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17 February
No doubt a sage question - does she just think that she's engaged, when she's not*? Probably the poor woman is wondering over** the legitimacy of her engagement as I write!
(Whereas Kelly B. Rook has no qualms - she's never going to leave 'The Rookery' and take up with some other nook, because she's not the marrying kind.)
Meanwhile, is Cameron (only just) beginning to wonder whether he is actually Prime Minister, or whether - as in that masterpiece of paranoid schizophrenia turned into a comedy, The Truman Show (1998) - everyone's just been humouring him?
PS If our Kelly turns out not to be engaged, I seem to remember that she is really a Parsons - she could always go back to her natal name and aim to marry a Mr Nicholas (Paul Nicholas?), or, if she could put her surname first, a Mr Green (or a Mr Nose - or Egg).
End-notes
* And what would - either party not being eligible to marry apart - constitute such an erroneous belief? Maybe false memory that the offer of marriage and the acceptance took place...
** Well, I might have meant 'worrying over' or 'wondering about', but who cares? - it's a portmanteau day, after all!
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Friday, 27 January 2012
Kelly Brook shows us her coconuts! (according to AOL®)
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
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28 January
So what can that possibly be about?
Well, she is not alone in liking the beach, possibly the tropics (possibly being photographed there*), and then there's this BFG / BGT / GMT business to promote...
So what are the chances of a Hawaiian look, rather than her collection of prized shells garnered from pleasure-beaches from Margate to Skegness, Blackpool to Minehead?
Going to the page, and below a photograph of Kelly** (holding an unhusked coonut - I take it to be such, rather than a partly damaged elephant's testicle) is:
Mostly we are posting this picture of Kelly Brook because we wanted to use the coconuts headline. It's very classy reporting but y'know what? Kelly is lovely (we met her at London Fashion Week), her bikini is lovely, and we wish we were on holiday instead of typing at our desks while a pigeon with a bad attitude watches us through the window.
So, highly informative! - I liked the pigeon's eye view best (in fact, I met the pigeon, also at London Fashion Week, and got all the gossip)...
End-notes
* It seems that the Hindustan Times may know more than most, apparently describing Kelly as 'the ideal travel companion for guys'.
** Meanwhile, Wikipedia®'s entry appears to err on the side of caution, telling us that she ' is an English model, actress, entrepreneur, television presenter and Playboy model'.
Delving further, though:
1. Does Kelly (née Kelly Ann Parsons - any connection with Nicholas?) fill in her census form that way (OK, the chauffeur does it), considering herself 'English' (even if she is), rather than British (even if she is)?
2. In what order do these attributes, achievements or activities appear? - it might seem chronological, but I am less sure, and in what sense do they distinguish her from, say, Linda Lusardi (although the latter is patron of a refuge for orphaned oysters, it must be remembered, as, properly, Wikipedia® records in her entry)? Or does starring in pantomime - and even Emmerdale - constitute a divide?***
3. Does once a 'Playboy model', always a 'Playboy model' apply? Would it still be the case twenty years hence, even if she did not appear in the publication in-between, or does it - any time - become 'and has appeared in Playboy [as a model]'?
4. Plus, aren't we over looking a few things? To name but a few:
* Justice of the Peace
* Piano-tuner
* Auxiliary fire-fighter
* Mother of the Bennett daughters from Pride and Prejudice (because Mrs Bennett was busy, writing her biography of Jane Austen)
* Carpet-layer
*** I do not know about the Playboy part (as the writing is not of the best, and Linda has always been disappointed by its attempts at interviews with Woody Allen). However, Linda has a thriving business, which she started herself ten years ago, where pubs - if any can still be found, and ones where people play not just games, but card-games - are offered a replacement pack of cards, because it is impossible to play properly when everyone knows that the one with the missing corner is the King of Diamonds.
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28 January
So what can that possibly be about?
Well, she is not alone in liking the beach, possibly the tropics (possibly being photographed there*), and then there's this BFG / BGT / GMT business to promote...
So what are the chances of a Hawaiian look, rather than her collection of prized shells garnered from pleasure-beaches from Margate to Skegness, Blackpool to Minehead?
Going to the page, and below a photograph of Kelly** (holding an unhusked coonut - I take it to be such, rather than a partly damaged elephant's testicle) is:
Mostly we are posting this picture of Kelly Brook because we wanted to use the coconuts headline. It's very classy reporting but y'know what? Kelly is lovely (we met her at London Fashion Week), her bikini is lovely, and we wish we were on holiday instead of typing at our desks while a pigeon with a bad attitude watches us through the window.
So, highly informative! - I liked the pigeon's eye view best (in fact, I met the pigeon, also at London Fashion Week, and got all the gossip)...
End-notes
* It seems that the Hindustan Times may know more than most, apparently describing Kelly as 'the ideal travel companion for guys'.
** Meanwhile, Wikipedia®'s entry appears to err on the side of caution, telling us that she ' is an English model, actress, entrepreneur, television presenter and Playboy model'.
Delving further, though:
1. Does Kelly (née Kelly Ann Parsons - any connection with Nicholas?) fill in her census form that way (OK, the chauffeur does it), considering herself 'English' (even if she is), rather than British (even if she is)?
2. In what order do these attributes, achievements or activities appear? - it might seem chronological, but I am less sure, and in what sense do they distinguish her from, say, Linda Lusardi (although the latter is patron of a refuge for orphaned oysters, it must be remembered, as, properly, Wikipedia® records in her entry)? Or does starring in pantomime - and even Emmerdale - constitute a divide?***
3. Does once a 'Playboy model', always a 'Playboy model' apply? Would it still be the case twenty years hence, even if she did not appear in the publication in-between, or does it - any time - become 'and has appeared in Playboy [as a model]'?
4. Plus, aren't we over looking a few things? To name but a few:
* Justice of the Peace
* Piano-tuner
* Auxiliary fire-fighter
* Mother of the Bennett daughters from Pride and Prejudice (because Mrs Bennett was busy, writing her biography of Jane Austen)
* Carpet-layer
*** I do not know about the Playboy part (as the writing is not of the best, and Linda has always been disappointed by its attempts at interviews with Woody Allen). However, Linda has a thriving business, which she started herself ten years ago, where pubs - if any can still be found, and ones where people play not just games, but card-games - are offered a replacement pack of cards, because it is impossible to play properly when everyone knows that the one with the missing corner is the King of Diamonds.
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Thursday, 26 January 2012
The Future or How do you choose a satisying film? (Part 3)
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)
26 January
A contact in the film world and I are agreed about Peter Bradshaw (we both experienced the so-called Tartan Error, I mean Terror, event at last year's Festival - http://www.cambridgefilmfestival.org.uk/films/2011/the-tartan-terror-hamish-mcalpine-in-conversation/ - and both walked out): Bradshaw has, perhaps not single handedly, talked up The Artist into a frenzy of screenings to cope with the demand.
Rule of thumb, then:
Bradshaw commends, run the other way! - fast: since you can run, but you can't hide, etc.
Not that it was at all excessive to say that he couldn't wait until he could see it again, but it adds a certain punch to the poster - and, in whomever's eyes, though it's only January (unless the person or organ meant December), it's 'film of the year'. A huge debate could ensue about whether critics 'talk things up', and, if so, why, but it won't...
I may already have said so, but - and admittedly out of context, as pure music, as which (for me) it failed (the Birdy album, which I revisited last night, did not) - I heard a number from The Artist, played on Radio 3 last week, and was not just a little (probably, 'take it or leave it' territory), but deeply unimpressed: I should check, as I didn't register at the details, who wrote the score**.
The inverse of the law (Bradshaw despises, sell your home to get a ticket) doesn't follow, but Physics tells us that it is unlikely to, quite apart from Logic and its famous 'excluded middle'***.
For those who can bear more, there is now more at Part 4 (and the promise that Part 5 will be the end of it!)...
End-notes
* I have since revisited the Growing Up album, and other numbers from when Gabriel's were PG1 to PG4 (although PG1, despite the infectious Solsbury Hill, is not one that I want to have as a CD), via the DVD of the Growing Up tour, and will have more to say...
** Courtesy of that noble (if not infallible) resource IMDb, I can report that it was one Ludovic Bourse (more at http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0099753/), whose credentials, somehow, don't - on the basis of past film-work - compellingly strike me****.
*** Kelly Brook®, allegedly, has things to share about how to exclude that pesky middle, but, if so, she can start her own blog! (Having said that, if she were to drop me a line about Bird's use of the diminished seventh (or, even the Dorian mode), I'd make time to read it.)
**** Some, probably redundantly, would have finished that phrase with 'as impressive'...
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26 January
A contact in the film world and I are agreed about Peter Bradshaw (we both experienced the so-called Tartan Error, I mean Terror, event at last year's Festival - http://www.cambridgefilmfestival.org.uk/films/2011/the-tartan-terror-hamish-mcalpine-in-conversation/ - and both walked out): Bradshaw has, perhaps not single handedly, talked up The Artist into a frenzy of screenings to cope with the demand.
Rule of thumb, then:
Bradshaw commends, run the other way! - fast: since you can run, but you can't hide, etc.
Not that it was at all excessive to say that he couldn't wait until he could see it again, but it adds a certain punch to the poster - and, in whomever's eyes, though it's only January (unless the person or organ meant December), it's 'film of the year'. A huge debate could ensue about whether critics 'talk things up', and, if so, why, but it won't...
I may already have said so, but - and admittedly out of context, as pure music, as which (for me) it failed (the Birdy album, which I revisited last night, did not) - I heard a number from The Artist, played on Radio 3 last week, and was not just a little (probably, 'take it or leave it' territory), but deeply unimpressed: I should check, as I didn't register at the details, who wrote the score**.
The inverse of the law (Bradshaw despises, sell your home to get a ticket) doesn't follow, but Physics tells us that it is unlikely to, quite apart from Logic and its famous 'excluded middle'***.
For those who can bear more, there is now more at Part 4 (and the promise that Part 5 will be the end of it!)...
End-notes
* I have since revisited the Growing Up album, and other numbers from when Gabriel's were PG1 to PG4 (although PG1, despite the infectious Solsbury Hill, is not one that I want to have as a CD), via the DVD of the Growing Up tour, and will have more to say...
** Courtesy of that noble (if not infallible) resource IMDb, I can report that it was one Ludovic Bourse (more at http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0099753/), whose credentials, somehow, don't - on the basis of past film-work - compellingly strike me****.
*** Kelly Brook®, allegedly, has things to share about how to exclude that pesky middle, but, if so, she can start her own blog! (Having said that, if she were to drop me a line about Bird's use of the diminished seventh (or, even the Dorian mode), I'd make time to read it.)
**** Some, probably redundantly, would have finished that phrase with 'as impressive'...
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Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Kelly Brook® - so I'm told - does a nice line in calendars
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
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24 January
For better or worse, there are Wikipedia® web-pages that set about 'disambiguation', and this posting's title needs that:
(a) We are not talking about Kelly sitting down (or even standing up) with some scissors, card, glue, and a few copies of Vogue to flick through for inspiration (could be Monty Don, appearing nude in Gardener's World amongst the begonias, for all that it matters - except, probably, to said Monty (because that would not be his type of flower of choice with which to romp));
(b) Or even uploading some holiday snaps, pictures of the cat, snowmen on the green, some glitzy party, etc., to one of these web-sites that charges a bob or two to turn them into your very own calendar (although, of course, she may do that, at her peril, unless she thoughtfully dubs heself Urbiz Veran in details of the person placing the order);
(c) She also does not (to my knowledge) have a stall 'down Camden Lock' (or any other such stall), where she can do you 'two for a tenner' on certain celebrities posing 12 (or 15) times to take you through the year, BUT we're getting dangerously close!
To say any more would be invidious, and also make envious an obviously not envious Amanda Holden®, but I am led to believe that interrogating the Internet (or even Internet selling web-sites) with a simple search-string such as 'Kelly calendar' tells one all that one wishes to know...
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24 January
For better or worse, there are Wikipedia® web-pages that set about 'disambiguation', and this posting's title needs that:
(a) We are not talking about Kelly sitting down (or even standing up) with some scissors, card, glue, and a few copies of Vogue to flick through for inspiration (could be Monty Don, appearing nude in Gardener's World amongst the begonias, for all that it matters - except, probably, to said Monty (because that would not be his type of flower of choice with which to romp));
(b) Or even uploading some holiday snaps, pictures of the cat, snowmen on the green, some glitzy party, etc., to one of these web-sites that charges a bob or two to turn them into your very own calendar (although, of course, she may do that, at her peril, unless she thoughtfully dubs heself Urbiz Veran in details of the person placing the order);
(c) She also does not (to my knowledge) have a stall 'down Camden Lock' (or any other such stall), where she can do you 'two for a tenner' on certain celebrities posing 12 (or 15) times to take you through the year, BUT we're getting dangerously close!
To say any more would be invidious, and also make envious an obviously not envious Amanda Holden®, but I am led to believe that interrogating the Internet (or even Internet selling web-sites) with a simple search-string such as 'Kelly calendar' tells one all that one wishes to know...
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Kelly Brook® irradiated my toaster - again!
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
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24 January
Well, no, she didn't actually - it was Amanda Holden® the first time, then Keeley Hazell®.
No, wait a minute - it was Keeley both times, as she hadn't got it quite right the first time*!
Sorry, I haven't got this business of being a publicist right yet! Despite having a huge chart set up, on which I try to keep track of 'the stories', I keep coming a cropper as to who said what and when, Miss Marple!
And this despite the fact that my lovely chart resembles something out of one of these t.v. murder mysteries (usually, anyway - toaster crime isn't big in detective fiction of any kind, as far as I am aware), where they map the suspects and what they did and said with mug-shots, artfully deployed pieces of wool, etc.
Whatever mine resembles, I just haven't the organizational technique, so maybe I need to employ some skills from Cracker and get Robbie onto it (if he isn't still being all Hagrid all over the place, that is...). Then, again, mebbe (as Hagrid would say) we could call a truce - just start telling the truth once more?
* Something similar to what the Scots (like to) say about why Irish (i.e. whiksey, I mean whiskey) is triple distilled, and Scotch (NB only usually) only twice.
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24 January
Well, no, she didn't actually - it was Amanda Holden® the first time, then Keeley Hazell®.
No, wait a minute - it was Keeley both times, as she hadn't got it quite right the first time*!
Sorry, I haven't got this business of being a publicist right yet! Despite having a huge chart set up, on which I try to keep track of 'the stories', I keep coming a cropper as to who said what and when, Miss Marple!
And this despite the fact that my lovely chart resembles something out of one of these t.v. murder mysteries (usually, anyway - toaster crime isn't big in detective fiction of any kind, as far as I am aware), where they map the suspects and what they did and said with mug-shots, artfully deployed pieces of wool, etc.
Whatever mine resembles, I just haven't the organizational technique, so maybe I need to employ some skills from Cracker and get Robbie onto it (if he isn't still being all Hagrid all over the place, that is...). Then, again, mebbe (as Hagrid would say) we could call a truce - just start telling the truth once more?
* Something similar to what the Scots (like to) say about why Irish (i.e. whiksey, I mean whiskey) is triple distilled, and Scotch (NB only usually) only twice.
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