More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2012
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)2 MayAs I am sure that the authors of this item well know (i.e. it is tongue in cheek, but in such a way as to appear 'dumb'), this caption to the headline is an absolute non-sequitur:Singer proves that sex tape scandal hasn't hit her popularityNo, and nor, with any relevant electorate, would circulation - and even rating - of the said tape**! (I wonder if it has an entry on IMDb...)End-note
* As opposed to media.
** According to AOL® (again) on 4 May, Amanda Holden told Alan Carr that she watched it.
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)7 FebruaryThat's what it feels like sometimes, especially when you receive a grand e-mail, called Tankard Oil Delivery Confirmation (304503), and you truly wanted to know about delivery no. 304506, which Amanda Holden had placed. (All that when trying to place a reverse-charge call to the phallus below which Kafka's remains are allegedly interred.)In Stretham, such matters are viewed more casually, and with an element of abandon, and many have a Gaol Scar from their encounters with liquefied fuel (a matter that they lightly brush off if anyone is foolish enough to remark on it).'The brain,' Oscar Wilde used to quip, 'is a remarkable organ: some day, I must acquire one of my own!'. A strict Freudian, before his day, but then he came from Coward Isle, he mixed with 'the aisle crowd'*, and he rode low in his sidecar (get my meaning?!).On another note, it can be said that his social drew from all manner of artists, and that anyone, if they chose, could have a cordial sew, or seek where Carol Dew is to be found. All too often, though, he laid an escrow upon jollity, and a drunken soldier would caw vainly in the night in search - ahead of his time - of Kafka.So, from Elephant and Castle, head pretty much in any direction - you're bound to have a good time, and might even find The Cinema Museum!End-notes* Indeed, it is said that he would never enjoy cheese unless he could eat it with oat-cakes.
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)26 January
Now it's:
Demi Moore rushed to hospital*
According to AOL® (but presumably not the same hospital - although, for things of a more psychological nature in the UK, the types of Holden and Moore were once thought to favour recuperating in The Nunnery (or whatever that place was called))
That said (whatever it was), I am fairly sure that there might have been some 'story' about Moore being pregnant, too - someone, at any rate, in that sort of league:No, I do tell a lie, it was some postulation to that effect about darling Jennifer Aniston (who, unless she cultivated it (and even then), must want to vomit about being called Jen all the time).As to Moore's fecundity, fertility or carrying - now or at any time - of foetuses, I am quite ignorant! (As who is not?, some would say.)
* I have since found her described as 'the raven-haired beauty' (in the NY Daily News), but, in the same article on the Internet (and very pleasingly, I am sure), also as 'the child of two alcoholics [...] whisked to a nearby hospital'.It appears, at least, that she does have have a 23-year-old daughter, who 'rushed' there, and was 'photographed looking visibly distraught' - presumably, if she had been looking invisibly distraught, the poor photographers would have had a problem (and would have had to leave it to the named Frank Digiacomo and Nancy Dillon to spin the line of 'putting a brave face on it, but she must have been worried').I imagine that it is also to be supposed that she was not playing some role of appearing what, in fact, she was not, viz.distraught.
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)25 JanuaryAnd what did they do with the other - non-pregnant - Holden?Take her down to Mecca® Bingo for a good night out, no doubt, and afterwards chips with curry sauce and a portion of mushy peas on the side - she's worth it!(And, of course, that would be cheating all the UK's other Amanda Holdens, I hasten to add, some of whom may also be pregnant...)And, then, what about
Demi Moore®?
PS Lenny Henry® won at ludo three nights ago, but sources close to David Cameron® say that 'he has a funny way of shaking that usually gets him a six'. (That may be Cameron or Henry - we couldn't tell.)
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)24 JanuaryFor better or worse, there are Wikipedia® web-pages that set about 'disambiguation', and this posting's title needs that:(a) We are not talking about Kelly sitting down (or even standing up) with some scissors, card, glue, and a few copies of Vogue to flick through for inspiration (could be Monty Don, appearing nude in Gardener's World amongst the begonias, for all that it matters - except, probably, to said Monty (because that would not be his type of flower of choice with which to romp));(b) Or even uploading some holiday snaps, pictures of the cat, snowmen on the green, some glitzy party, etc., to one of these web-sites that charges a bob or two to turn them into your very own calendar (although, of course, she may do that, at her peril, unless she thoughtfully dubs heself Urbiz Veran in details of the person placing the order);(c) She also does not (to my knowledge) have a stall 'down Camden Lock' (or any other such stall), where she can do you 'two for a tenner' on certain celebrities posing 12 (or 15) times to take you through the year, BUT we're getting dangerously close!To say any more would be invidious, and also make envious an obviously not envious Amanda Holden®, but I am led to believe that interrogating the Internet (or even Internet selling web-sites) with a simple search-string such as 'Kelly calendar' tells one all that one wishes to know...
More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)24 JanuaryWell, no, she didn't actually - it was Amanda Holden® the first time, then Keeley Hazell®.
No, wait a minute - it was Keeley both times, as she hadn't got it quite right the first time*!Sorry, I haven't got this business of being a publicist right yet! Despite having a huge chart set up, on which I try to keep track of 'the stories', I keep coming a cropper as to who said what and when, Miss Marple!And this despite the fact that my lovely chart resembles something out of one of these t.v. murder mysteries (usually, anyway - toaster crime isn't big in detective fiction of any kind, as far as I am aware), where they map the suspects and what they did and said with mug-shots, artfully deployed pieces of wool, etc.Whatever mine resembles, I just haven't the organizational technique, so maybe I need to employ some skills from Cracker and get Robbie onto it (if he isn't still being all Hagrid all over the place, that is...). Then, again, mebbe (as Hagrid would say) we could call a truce - just start telling the truth once more?* Something similar to what the Scots (like to) say about why Irish (i.e. whiksey, I mean whiskey) is triple distilled, and Scotch (NB only usually) only twice.
