Movies you consider to be absolutely PERFECT… You wouldn’t change a single thing about them : #UCFF's Four Films

Movies you consider to be absolutely PERFECT… You wouldn’t change a single thing about them

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

28 July

Movies you consider to be absolutely PERFECT… You wouldn’t change a single thing about them : #UCFF's Four Films

What are 1-4 movies you consider to be absolutely PERFECT… you wouldn’t change a single thing about them? pic.twitter.com/PO2yd0yXnn

— ✨ Hollywood Yesterday ✨ (@HollywoodYeste1) July 28, 2022

Chronological order :

1) Offret (The Sacrifice) (1986) pic.twitter.com/eI1wMx7NqF

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 28, 2022

2) Le mari de la coiffeuse (The Hairdresser's Husband) (1990) pic.twitter.com/HdYVFElp3P

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 28, 2022

Bonus pics ! pic.twitter.com/Mgn7sK9B1V

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 28, 2022

4) Kosmos (2009)

ENDS pic.twitter.com/RTNcrL6rfV

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 28, 2022

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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Report from York Early Music Festival : Paul McCreesh, Gabrieli Consort & Players and Venezia, 1595 (work in progress)

Report from York Early Music Festival : Paul McCreesh, Gabrieli Consort & Players and Venezia, 1595

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

13 July

Report from York Early Music Festival : Paul McCreesh, Gabrieli Consort & Players and Venezia, 1595 (work in progress)

What an entrance! ⁦@BBCRadio3⁩ ⁦@hannahcfrench⁩ ⁦@bonaomi1⁩ - there’s still time to tune in #yemf ⁦@GabrieliCandP⁩ pic.twitter.com/B0m5rPQFca

— NCEM (@yorkearlymusic) July 13, 2022

A superb evening, with @yorkearlymusic, at @York_Minster earlier - transporting us to Venezia, April 1595* !

* When Elizabeth I still had nearly eight more years to reign, and Shakespeare had just written A Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo and Juliet [https://t.co/behzR1WGWQ].

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 14, 2022

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

#CrapAdverts : #SpamFolderTreasures and the like

#CrapAdverts : #SpamFolderTreasures and the like

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

2 July

#CrapAdverts : #SpamFolderTreasures and the like

Well, let's say that it's all part of trying to make a buck (or not making one ?) ! pic.twitter.com/bgLlbBWRvc

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 11, 2024

If a knee-sleeve were, as the uninvited advert suggests, 'ground-breaking', wouldn't one have fallen v. heavily ?#CrapAdverts

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 9, 2024

If they *thought* that 'prosthetic' was a better buzz-word (than 'prostate'), or that different ages would attract more attention, be sure that the same tips about paper-clips, knitting-needles, knotting or clamping would suddenly be applicable...#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/TpvMJ33AJQ

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 10, 2024

Sadly, this fuel-company - whatever one thinks of heating oil, etc. - also can't spell...#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/8UiVv8JRqb

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 5, 2024

'The human brain holds a lot of [pieces of information ?], most of them [sic] are from what we learned in grade school'

1) Any science behind this Homo sapiens exceptionalism [even if other creatures don't attend schools] ?

2) Do learn grammar at grade school !#CrapAdverts https://t.co/bKOwoCCCfD

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 27, 2023

Er, I think that he thinks that we'll think that this trashy video :

1) Isn't worse than Johnson's 'oven-ready deal' thing that won him* 12/12/2019,

2) Any other Sunak cringe-moments, and

3) Depicts a hard-working mensch-of-a-guy, with his sleeves rolled up, saving us all !

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 27, 2023

To #UCFF, this as easily resembles a promotional video for a container-port...#CrapAdverts https://t.co/DUViPOYSVF

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 24, 2023

Even in context, Cypher (Joe Pantoliano) knows that the steak that he's about to taste isn't real :https://t.co/PavsEITtqH

Maybe not such a good choice of clip - unless whoever places orders through you is genuinely indifferent whether the food exists... ? ;)

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 16, 2023

Seems like it's Bound for #CrapAdverts... pic.twitter.com/PllC5m5Ucm

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 16, 2023

Well !

For parents who don't think it through or even want their children to be like those dogs that lick everything in sight...

Best used for gifts between adults, I guess ?#CrapAdverts- https://t.co/rjxR9c7HnF

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 4, 2023

If it's this best-seller 'on Amazon', surely no one's going to be much surprised that it's 'on sale right now', are they... ? ;)#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/6GSUzgjXWv

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 5, 2023

Not for the first time, one's unsure of claims about the product's USP, but, here, it may be :

a) One's luggage hovers in the green countryside,

b) Spectral birds of the air venerate it, and

c) It creates a similarly curious map-outline around a nearby tree ?#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/L6M4cE7UiM

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 5, 2023

This time :

1) As when strangers call you by name, after a conference, because you're still wearing your badge but

2) With 'the benefit' that people are also craning *their* neck to stare at your chest#AlwaysOnDuty

Same old grim-sounding slogan...#CrapAdverts https://t.co/nRDq205r3n

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 16, 2023

#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/qyhQyujHBg

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 11, 2023

Even if it were 'For the woman *in* my life', someone would 'get it in the neck' for writing such a fatuous birthday greeting ! :)#CrapAdverts https://t.co/HnztBF9sOG

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 4, 2023

What if I'm not called Daniel (and she's not Sophie) ? ;)

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 26, 2023

Plus 'From your heart to her neck' ? ! https://t.co/GBzRuHXS8j

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 26, 2023

By far your strangest image yet !#CrapAdverts https://t.co/b34yTRXYwN

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 24, 2023

The backpack of the future is here. 🌌
It’s surreal how it combines an innovative design with pockets for organization 💻, RFID protection 💳 & USB charging port 🔋. But it is real, and it can be yours!

— Nordace (@NordaceOfficial) June 26, 2023

No doubt this is *intended to be* a promise of excellence and satisfaction...

But could it also be read differently - as a veiled threat... ?

[Certainly, leaving the special item unattended at what looks like Versailles might guarantee not seeing it again !]#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/jRgqs57mFX

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 13, 2023

They're right, you know - no ordinary pair of shoes visits the beach on its own to see a fossilized pork pie ! pic.twitter.com/SfeJwcHoL7

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 7, 2023

Does anyone really equate a pulsating ninja triffid on speed with the tranquillity that most people seek in a garden ? ;)#CrapAdverts https://t.co/mJVmPb9tCp

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 30, 2023

Now using the phrase twice on their sign-in page*, HSBC really do think that one can grow money** - but not on trees... ?

* At : https://t.co/9EgpAMBO0U.

** The head-line has long read as if one plans money and then grows it - a bit like designing a garden ?#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/bHo0Yx8zP7

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 25, 2023

Only maybe more useful, if your name is, er, Simon ? ;)#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/mjbyKGfpd8

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 7, 2023

Sitting on the floor, grinning at a pizza amidst one's removal-boxes, is HSBC's idea of treating one's self :

'Enjoy a £30 eGift Card when you buy combined buildings and contents insurance with us by 12 June 2023' pic.twitter.com/5UufXeuzyd

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 31, 2023

Shot on the set for an adaptation of Elias Canetti's novel Die Blendung ? pic.twitter.com/P5q3FOavoy

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 4, 2023

Clearly, not a head-line written by a speaker of British English :

The corgis will win ! ;)#SpamFolderTreasures, etc. pic.twitter.com/7AHmvIvTfI

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 11, 2022

How many people are gonna look... ? ;)#ClickbaitPredictions#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/wgfsSGXntf

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 11, 2022

Who is is tweeting from this account? The language is so odd and intemperate. https://t.co/PNNYu1Uuri

— Matthew Sweet (@DrMatthewSweet) September 4, 2022

The worth of a person does *not* consist in the abundance of that person's possessions ?

[Vincent van Gogh is a Very Poor Choice for this exercise in monetization !] https://t.co/ypIqfdtB9Q

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 2, 2022

'Crazy Manhood "Twist" Makes It 48% Bigger' :

Those who try *may be* Frequent Flyers at A&E...#SpamFolderTreasures#CrapAdverts

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 18, 2022

One hopes that the research reads better than that sentence, if it's meant to get people interested ! https://t.co/Cunr5tinrU

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 14, 2022

Also, more prominently, seems to show a pillow ? ;)

Already added to #UCFF at '#CrapAdverts : #SpamFolderTreasures and the like' :https://t.co/WmBxDxqx1v

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 3, 2022

Choice pickings from the Spam folder ! :

'Apsley, find out how much weight you can probably lose'

Where, if one doesn't know the language, one's tempting e-mail ends up being too candid...#SpamFolderTreasures

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 2, 2022

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)