More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)
9 November
That would've been a glitch in the ice-box... pic.twitter.com/NNPU8ChY9Y
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 20, 2022
A : D'you often find that, when you look in the fridge, you end up having to throw lots of things out ?
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 8, 2024
C : No, not at all - I usually faced almost no mood.
A : ? !#Spoonerisms
C : If we go to the aviary, perhaps there'll be a bumming heard... ?
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) April 8, 2024
A : Er, yes - maybe... Tell you what, in that case you go on your own, and you can tell me all about it !#Tiergarten#sSpoonerisms
'Well, it has to be said, Jeeves, that your packed lunch perhaps lacked punch.'
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 16, 2024
'My apologies, sir. However, on reflection, you might recall that it rather better fitted Lady Caroline's tastes ?'#Spoonerisms
Yet a glass of jute-froose sounds so much more exotic !#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 24, 2024
Or, one never knows, it might be the Goth of Rod ? :)#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 31, 2023
C : (Over-excitedly.) Oh, look - mink puffins !
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 28, 2023
A : ? !
C : (Ditto.) They must be flavoured with raspberry - d'you want one ?
A : (Sotto voce.) Er...#Spoonerisms
Tim says that we're just bitter still because of BX if we call one of his pubs a lad boozer#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 12, 2022
'I wonder if she always walks past at this time of day, because she goes to tank the bakings... ?'#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 7, 2023
The Way We Were :
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 22, 2023
When in Scarborough, buy sand#Spoonerisms
I just saw a pair of doves, killing and booing.#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 18, 2022
'I don't usually like jokes about fish, but I do appreciate your whiting bit'#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 14, 2022
'It's all right - I'm only knowing my blows !'#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 9, 2020
C : Why, from time to time, does your car seem to execute dance-moves - but, frankly, in a very inferior way ?
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 22, 2022
A : Oh, it's been like that since I booked it in at the shoddy bop.#Spoonerisms
'To package that properly, what you really need is a piece of this rubble-bap !'#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 3, 2021
C : I must say that I'm dead envious of Tom and Chris, now that they've got dirt-bikes !
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 19, 2021
A : And, er, who's Burt, then ? Is he their new prisoner... ?
C : Um, sorry - what are you talking about ?#Spoonerisms
C : What do you like so much about old films ?
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 9, 2023
A : Oh, I always like to see Custer beaten.#Spoonerisms
I know that you were running a temperature, but - perhaps less than usefully (?) - I have been occupying my time since waking with this, peaky Crun :#Spoonerisms#HenryCrun https://t.co/GboOCaPmsP
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 3, 2023
A : *What* glade - it's almost unremittingly urban, if not machines, mechanization ! ?
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 26, 2021
C : Deleted scenes, re-written in his honour, where Neo's shown more stuff. Don't characters - several times - refer to Mitch in the glade tricks ?
A : I hate you.
2 / 2#Spoonerisms
'Best thing to read of Conrad's ? Well...
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 14, 2022
'OK. Start with Dart of Harkness - as it's mercifully short, and Everyone Thinks that one should've read it - and then move on to someone else's work !
'Maybe G., by John Berger, or Chesterton's The Man Who Was Thursday ?'#Spoonerisms pic.twitter.com/eHMqeKpaRG
'And this is where I sleep...'
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 18, 2023
'A four-poster ? But you're into metal, so this is really unexpected !'
'Well, you know - I've always enjoyed a little bed-hanging !'#Spoonerisms
'Do you want to call me on my gnome, Humber ?'#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 3, 2020
'Oh, you found out about that, too ?
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 17, 2022
'Yes, it's true that I turn my hand to many things to make a buck, and I do race tired, old horses, at a place that I call Track of All Jades.'#Spoonerisms
A : In the nicest of all possible ways, good sir, you are the ping of kiffle !
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 10, 2024
C : ? !#Spoonerisms
Those who don't believe in Nessie should knock less those who do !#Spoonerisms pic.twitter.com/SRLE5C4OIA
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 11, 2023
William Shakespeare weighed a mill, in which he famously gave Anne Hathaway his second-best bed#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 13, 2021
C : On Wednesday, I have A Beating with The Mercer.
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 5, 2022
A : ? ! ?#Spoonerisms
'Are those very undercooked eggs for you, Jacob ?'
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 15, 2023
'No, they're for the da - they have to be runny for old mope !'#Spoonerisms
C : (Friendly.) Hiya !
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 5, 2022
A : (In a - polite - hurry.) Sorry - I'd love to stop, but I dust mash : see you another time ! :)
C : (Wordlessly, but with a confused smile.) Er... ?#Spoonerisms
'Yes, of course I do like the combination of the chocolate and the ice-cream, but I don't need a nag, mum - if I wanted one, I'd have it'#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 8, 2023
'After this evening's victory, we can be sure that the team's spirits will be hiding rye !'#GrainWars#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 24, 2021
A : Hey, your hands look dry - are they OK ?
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 4, 2021
C : 'S'allright, just wash-day hands. I've just been sinsing my rocks.
A : Er, doing *what* to your rocks... ?#Spoonerisms
Would Roger Stein and The Hamsters really have written as many hit tunes / songs ?#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 4, 2022
Or, on the altar of preserving a lazy cheese-eating liar, a shudderless rip* :
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 16, 2022
Through others' health, livelihoods, well-being, rights, finances, job or other security, reputations...
Though not enough shudder from those being ripped, even at 1K deaths per day ? !#Spoonerisms
C : Are you throating a suck-sweet ?
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) April 29, 2021
A : No... Not, er, intentionally... ?#Spoonerisms
'Mum ! Do we have any of those cravery snackers left ?'#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 14, 2021
'And do you know what manner of apparition he beheld, whining shite ?'#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 4, 2021
'Yes, this is just one of my bed-taker shirts !'#Spoonerisms
— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 14, 2020
End-notes :
* Which, obviously, does not quite work as a Spoonerism...
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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)
