STOP PRESS: University of Padua, I mean Portsmouth, distances itself from Plymouth

More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

7 February

Saddled Hodgkiss, the Chief Prelate of the university, has issued the following declaration:


(1) We, the university, and I, the Chief Prelate, are heartily Narked by people coming up and asking 'Where's Drake's Bar, then?'.


(2) Let it be henceforth known that:

(a) Such enquiry shall result in instant death;

(b) Death by Chocolate shall not be considered an equivalent penalty;

(c) The above stipulations shall apply equally to the mention, without good cause, of Padua (e.g. studying The Taming of The Shrew, wanting to dissect a few naked students, etc.).

(d) The university changes its longitude to place it 100 nautical miles to the east, and its postcode accordingly, to distance itself from any unfortunate misunderstanding.

(e) Fortunate misunderstanding shall still be welcomed, and may even result in the award of an honorary doctorship.

(f) There is no f, not around here, thank you very much!


(3) This convocation is hereby dissolved: the yoghurts are on me, and no making up words and seeing if I can find you out!


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