For Ocean's Eight (2018), four Tweets

For Ocean's Eight (2018), as seen at The Light Cinema, Cambridge, four Tweets

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2018 (25 October to 1 November)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

18 July

For Ocean's Eight (2018), as seen at The Light Cinema, Cambridge, four Tweets

Little did one imagine, watching A Room with a View (1985), that Helena Bonham Carter's fetishistic Bellatrix Lestrange would be one of the best things about the Harry Potter films - or that her wit, gracing @oceans8movie earlier at @lightcambridge, would make it worth a watch... pic.twitter.com/2fM1B5GirQ

— THE AGENT APSLEY (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 18, 2018

Sandra Bullock may have lead billing, and hair and make-up have her look striking (in a Victoria Beckham way?), but the screen-presence of such as Cate Blanchett outclasses her, and even @loganluckymovie makes a greater fist at plausibility than Gary Ross' directing / co-writing.

— THE AGENT APSLEY (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 19, 2018

In the year of the Merchant Ivory film, @IMDb tells us that blast-from-the-past Griffin Dunne (Paul Hackett in After Hours) is the (unseen) Parole Board Officer :https://t.co/C7FwKVVW9f

James Corden (John Frazier) is also hilarious, trying to investigate some of the nonsense !

— THE AGENT APSLEY (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 19, 2018

In @empiremagazine, 'Blanchett is cool personified, Paulson probably has the most to do (she has a run-in with Vogue editor Anna Wintour cooing over Roger Federer), Awkwafina is a lively presence, and Rihanna effortlessly erases the memory of Battleship.'https://t.co/3WCnTk8EGs https://t.co/6vaZDmCW3h

— THE AGENT APSLEY (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 19, 2018

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

What the dickens !

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2012
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

8 December

* Contains spoilers *

I thought that Ralph Fiennes was tremendous as (Abel) Magwitch, Great Expectations, but, sadly, outclassed Jeremy Irvine as a result.
— THE AGENT APSLEY (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 8, 2012

This remains my view of Great Expectations (2012), and I thought that Jason Flemyng was equally strong as Joe Gargery, but without the effect of stealing the scene. As for Robbie Coltrane as Jaggers, I was more impressed by him than I would have expected, whereas I had heard criticism that Helena Bonham Carter was too young as Miss Havisham, which - without having consulted the text - I am inclined to think right.

With the exception of little moments such as Pip’s sister, which Sally Hawkins was required to play as a grotesque, as a caricature amongst others at her Christmas meal (principally, Mr Pumblechook (David Walliams)), much was really rather naturalistic (though that is more true of this novel than others), which then set off well touches such as Wemmick and his castle, the Finch dining-club (foppish to the extent of resembling an amalgam of Mods and Teddy Boys), and Fiennes’ explosion onto the screen at the outset, with his Hannibal Lecterish tale.


As for the overall impact of the film, I Tweeted this

Overall, Great Expectations was very dramatic, but was what David Nicholls had done with it Dickens ? I'm unsure, but that doesn't matter.
— THE AGENT APSLEY (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 8, 2012

The book remains the book, and this is an approach at telling its story, where what has been changed is essentially in the realm of detail and emphasis : it gives me the feeling that I should like to make room to reacquaint myself with what Dickens wrote, partly because much of the dialogue had been invented, but not in a way that an Andrew Davies does it with his adaptations.

However Dickens did describe the marshes, the combination of wide horizons and skilled cinematography gave a beautiful sense of space and of tranquility, only interrupted by the man-hunt (and by Joe’s wife calling out two miles away !). That said, the contrast with London, which seemed unnecessarily full of mud and offal (as if better arrangements would not – they may not have been in the book – have been made for Pip’s reception and conveyance to his lodgings), seemed a little contrived, as if the local market town would have been any different, except in scale. (We only see the inside of Pumblechook’s premises, not how Pip got there, nor, for that matter, have we much notion of where Miss H. and Estella are, in relation to anywhere else, at Satis House.)

As to the ending, well, it is suitably uncertain to pass, but that, and Estella’s story, is what I could most easily check. Whatever feels changed does not leave me unhappy, but there is that feeling, with ‘a classic’, that some of what one could happily have imagined were better not presented for examination and consideration, and that the more quiet ebb and flow of the story became more tidal. That said, it would still be with the invention of dialogue that I felt most out of sorts.


If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Let me dress you like a Hero!

More views of - or after - Cambridge Film Festival 2011
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

18 January

Having sensed, not strongly, but sufficiently, that things punk are coming back in fashion, what with all that post-Potter Bonham Carter look, I have prepared and am about to announce my new Kleinzeit range of bondage gear.

Even lords and ladies will feel terribly out of place if they don't have one of my Hypotenuse corsets, to be worn over a suit, dress or separates, and, with every one purchased, there is a free five minutes' worth of ripping, slashing and general tugging at the seams of two garments.

Then with the Zonk hat, a ball-bearing the size of Sweden has to be carried around, so it needs to be screwed to the head in five places - get your co-ordination wrong, and the spring that houses the bearing might just behave unpredictably and smash you one in the face.

Those who like to keep things simple will adore the Plain Deal restrainers, lengths of pure Norwegian heartwood that are bolted from the back to halfway down the calf, rendering movement much more painful, if achievable at all - a whole new dimension on popping down to the shops, and cutting out all of that unnecessary sitting behind a steering-wheel.

The Glockenspiel manacles offer all the restriction, plus, of course, chafing that you would expect from a quality accessory, plus they give you a significant discount (we dare not say how much, as initial supply is likely to be outstripped by demand, as one would want with such bijou purchases) on the Nurse charging-unit .

On a rolled-steel harness, which is again guaranteed to dig and rub, and in a pure titanium housing, the unit is capable of delivering shocks of up to 100V at currents as high as 10A (thrilling, eh!), depending on where you are from A to B. Trigged by a special Swiss sensor, it detects any, even the smallest, deviation from Kantian moral principles and shocks you - and anyone nearby - into obedience. Strict doesn't come close to it!


And those are just a few of the most exciting articles in this extensive range, which personally excite me greatly and have given me pleasure to design.

(As I say, initial supply will be limited - just that little business of being sued about the Philosophical Investigations underwear, which I swear had nothing to do purchasers starting to issue instructions to others to pick up and move blocks of masonry...)


If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here