Finally - in a similar spirit to VW's cinema-ads [See film differently] ? - #UCFF's Brief Encounter Tweets (in draft ?)

Finally - a similar spirit to VW's cinema-ads [See film differently] ? - #UCFF's Brief Encounter Tweets

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

Michaelmas Day (29 September)

Finally - a similar spirit to VW's cinema-ads [See film differently] ? - #UCFF's Brief Encounter Tweets

Dedicated to Svetlana, as Shetland, on her birthday

Query :

In Lean's film, is Howard's character also sympathetic (as Johnson's telling means us to see her*), or actually to be seen in a noirish light, and his 'cover story' one that 'bigs him up' as worthy, so rather better than he is ?

* Fallible, but frightened and faithful. https://t.co/ZhXP9kKghE

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 29, 2022

On one clear level, we can read Howard as proxy¹, in a screenplay for which Coward's credited² (adapting his play).

¹ Then, or knowing of those times, one can see 'the encounter' through a lens of 'Careless Words Cost Lives', etc.

² E.g. https://t.co/4I1u30iBuT names others. pic.twitter.com/GpBB6xfZtV

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 29, 2022

Instead, or as an adjunct, maybe Howard's character does what we see in the prime part of this 1h 29 serially ?

Independently of what he says, what *do* we know of a man called Dr. Alex Harvey (Howard) ?

When he seeks Laura Jesson (Johnson), it's one thing ; does she find him ?

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 29, 2022

#UCFF came to Brief Encounter (1945) via a stage-adaptation*, before that became the norm of what theatres offer... : These are the spoilers !

Spoilers :

1) Alex's deniable medical status relies on being 'nifty with a hankie' when soot enters Laura's eye³ - hardly unlikely, in days of steam, at a railway-station !

2) A timely intrusion on the room that he's 'borrowed' for... ?

³ Word-play on immaculate / macula ?

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 29, 2022

Spoliers :

One might re-watch to ask :

* Who is Dr. Harvey ?

* Have we good reason to believe anything that he says about himself ?

At any rate, these tropes, clues, symbols are there...

Laura 'survives to tell the tale' to a husband to whom she imagines confessing.

ENDS

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 29, 2022

End-notes :

* At The Arts Theatre, Cambridge - some time, many more than 260 moons ago !


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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

The Gold Machine (2022) at The Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge, plus Q&A

The Gold Machine (2022) at The Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge, plus Q&A (work in progress)

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

13 September

The Gold Machine (2022) at The Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge, plus Q&A (work in progress)

Dr James Riley, of Girton, very ably hosted a Q&A for this film, whose release is a collaboration between Picturehouse Arts, Hot Property Films, and Dartmouth Film ['Pioneers in Britain of independent documentaries', another of whose films is Eric Ravilious : Drawn to War 2022)].

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 14, 2022

More to come...

Alive, and then very much not, they appeared in Grant Gee's directorial collaboration with writer Iain Sinclair in The Gold Machine (2022) last night...

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 14, 2022

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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Four Theses after dutifully watching the whole of Crimes of The Future (2022) : Crimes against remotely being cinematic (work in progress ?)

Four Theses after watching the whole of Crimes of The Future (2022) : Crimes against cinema ?

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

9 September

Four Theses after dutifully watching the whole of Crimes of The Future (2022) : Crimes against remotely being cinematic (work in progress ?)

Preamble :

This is about as cinematic as the whole film gets - and as much daylight

(From the opening shot, with Sotiris Sozos (as Brecken))

In preparing what follows for publication (e.g. checking such things as release-dates), it has become apparent that IMDb has been told to call Crimes of The Future (2022) Drama / Horror / Sci-Fi. (It obediently calls The Killing of A Sacred Deer (2017) Drama / Horror / Mystery.)

In fact, it is an indigestible, plasticized stew of (in chronological order*) such elements as :

* Doctor Who (1963 – 1989) [Especially The Troughton / Pertwee / Baker I years]

* Delicatessen (1991)

* Shadows and Fog (1991)

* Crash (1996) [Cronenberg's own, far superior film]

* Kinetta (2005)

* Raw (2016)

* The Killing of A Sacred Deer (2017)

* Pain and Glory (Dolor y gloria) (2019)

* The French Dispatch (2021)

As Wm. Blake might well have claim'd, so might he then - of his latest Crimes - Kronenbourg :

[...] My genius,
Labouring long, over my task, with me,
Gave wing to this Epicke. [...] pic.twitter.com/wbEzf4E5Xf

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 15, 2022

Four Theses (Review points proper)

(1) Only restrained by someone's recent Tweet** that one cannot justifiably comment on a film, if one walked out, it can now be said that, at 15-20 mins of 107, the impulse to leave Crimes of the Future then should have been taken.

(2) Without the names Viggo Mortensen, Léa Seydoux, Kristen Stewart, etc., Crimes would be indistinguishable from an undistinguished film-festival submission, whose 'screener' one would keep pausing to shout incredulous injunctions or obscenity (as if one's dutifully tortured watch were the real drama ?).

(3) A film that is over-reliant on speech - rather than juxtaposition of scenes or narrative-jumps - as exposition, and (inter alia) shabby interiors*** in low light-levels against which to set Lanthimos-like conversations.

(4) It helpfully used up a free ticket at The Arts Picturehouse.


Courtesy of Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart (as The Eurythmics), there is, now, a synopsis [Eurythmics, Annie Lennox, Dave Stewart - Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) (Official Video)], to which #UCFF links here !

Heady cinema days, 2 yrs ago...

A somewhat nonsensical screenplay, prioritizing sentiment* over science, but has nothing on Cronenberg's plot- and dialogue-driven latest or [other reasons] Official Competition (2021) !

* Differently, First Man (2018) jars, when in quarantine ? https://t.co/jfM4paNOCD pic.twitter.com/O57ZHqDaSh

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 11, 2022

More to come... ?






Afterword :

* Crimes even ended indeterminately, as if DC thought a sequel - though perhaps no more than one's imagined ending - profitable / sellable, or desirable ?

* Not least in the light of the film itself, must one question this English-language version's wording of 'A film by...' ? https://t.co/jpR2SPyPNo pic.twitter.com/iCYnuBbf9p

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 12, 2022

End-notes :

* Titles with underscoring will, in due course, have links to #UCFF reviews - the film-references are not necessarily to films rated well.

** Obviously, as it was in the last week, not this Tweet, but it will do... :

Okay, sorry I thought you meant one in particular. I have the 'Barry Norman Rule', after the old film reviewer, that unless I have seen a film right through to the end, I cannot comment on it. I will get back to you on 'Tenet' around 2023.

— Alexander Rooksmoor (@ARCRooksmoor) September 14, 2020

*** As of, if not in, the derelict buildings in Athens that we see in establishing shots. (Occasionally, we are en plain air)


If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

The #DoubleDownOnDoublethink Tweets

The #DoubleDownOnDoublethink Tweets

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

8 September

The #DoubleDownOnDoublethink Tweets

'Two sources said Kwarteng described that day as a "great day for freedom"'

Shame about Freedom of Movement, though... ?

'Another said guests told Kwarteng to "double down" – an approach from which some stood to make profits.

Or just #DoubleDownOnDoublethink ?

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 2, 2022

Nice views, out of the window ?

The interview simply didn't #DoubleDownOnDoublethink - there were no real punches in the 'You're prepared to be unpopular' non-questions, which, er, spoon-fed opportunities to spout.

Might as well have gone directly to 'If it ain't hurting...' ?

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 21, 2022

'Churchill never backed a loser, except when his horse didn't win'#DoubleDownOnDoublethink

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 8, 2022

1) The market's never wrong.

2) Except when it's wrong ? ;) https://t.co/wLiP1Rggb6

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 7, 2022

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

In a non-spoilery way, what can one say about the 'non-stop surprises' of Competencia oficial (Official Competition) (2021) ?

What can one say about the 'non-stop surprises' of Competencia oficial (Official Competition) (2021) ?

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

6 September

In a non-spoilery way, what can one say about the 'non-stop surprises' of

Competencia oficial (Official Competition) (2021) ?

Viewed at The Light Cinema, Cambridge

In a review*, what can one say that doesn't let the metaphorical cat out of a maybe non-existent bag about Official Competition (2021)... ?

* Let alone deliberately non-spoilery previews, such as - for five or more years - #UCFF attempted writing for #CamFF's #CameraCatalonia ?

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 6, 2022

¹ Also, Mexican painter, graphic artist, illustrator José Luis Cuevas (1934 - 2017).

² Some seeming ancestry / etymological web-sites use a fairly meaningless term 'bank shore' - it is clear enough that they must mean 'river bank'.

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 7, 2022

4) In the vein of Hamlet's Player King, IMDb purports that one is a Comedy / Drama, the other a Drama / Comedy - in Competencia oficial (2021), there might have been two or three appreciative snorts, but there were no laugh-aloud moments (and no one else at all in the screen !)

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 7, 2022

6) The film (and film within it) must begin somewhere⁴ - it begins with mortality, focusing a mind

7) OK for a film predicated on (somehow) novel experience ?

⁴ To invert The Matrix Revolutions (2003), 'Everything that has an end has a beginning' [https://t.co/qd0k6kgfku]

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 7, 2022

9) In 'Learning to Breathe' [https://t.co/7JVko1qcXc], Nerina Pallot has a line 'There's nothing bound in thought you cannot do' - Östlund may have us credit Othello's prophetic 'Chaos is come again', but does Competencia oficial shy away from consequence into non-sequitur... ?

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 7, 2022

12) Competencia oficial 'unfolds' as if maliciously edited à la Broken Embraces (2009) - or maybe had scenes deleted for BBFC's 15 certificate ?

13) A not unblinking note of menace or nightmare, right at the end of the film, will not render it into a Post Tenebras Lux (2012) ! pic.twitter.com/6UptBXuHhh

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 7, 2022

Something more spoilery and / or less Tweety may follow here...

The shoot of the film within Official Competition (2021) is even more knapp [as they may still say in Germany ?] :

Thankfully*, we're only 'treated' to tantrums or tricks of rehearsal ! ?

* Clearly, we have no need to see or see finished Norma Desmond's screenplay à la Gillis.

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 14, 2022

In a non-spoilery way, what can one say about the 'non-stop surprises' of Competencia oficial (Official Competition) (2021) ? :https://t.co/hIASeKVE4M

Perhaps it's a film for fans of *that book* by Eric Berne... ? ;) pic.twitter.com/hfzm2bczX0

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 15, 2022

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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

#TrueMastersMisnameMovies and wilfully #MisunderstandingFilmTropes : Yet another accreting collection à la #Spoonerisms, #Homophones, #CrapAdverts... ! ?

#TrueMastersMisnameMovies and wilfully #MisunderstandingFilmTropes  : Another collection ! ?

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

6 September

#TrueMastersMisnameMovies and wilfully #MisunderstandingFilmTropes  :

Yet another accreting collection à la #Spoonerisms, #Homophones, #CrapAdverts... ! ?

Definately Indiana Jones and The Temple of Gloom ! ;)#TrueMastersMisnameMovies

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 6, 2022

That bit in the film where the passenger in a hurry suddenly asks the cab-driver to pull over and wait... :

Why do they always talk about this guy called Demeter, and how would *that* keep him running anyway ?#MisunderstandingFilmTropes#Homophones

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 13, 2023

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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Findings and Favours : #CorneliaParker at Tate Britain ~ Curating an exhibition for people who like their art explained (away) ?

Findings and Favours : #CorneliaParker at Tate BritainT

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

29 August

Findings and Favours : #CorneliaParker at Tate Britain

~ An exhibition for people who like their art explained (away) ?

This is a place-holder : whatever Normal Transmission is may be resumed some time soon ?

Prelude :

#WalterSickert and #CorneliaParker at Tate Britain to-day - and saying goodbye to #SurrealismBeyondBorders, especially Rooms 1, 3, 4, 9, 11, the Ernst, Matta, Gorky, and At Land (1944) !

After now, if #UCFF makes it back, that's OK ; if not, also OK !

[Not there since Blake ?]

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 29, 2022

Main act :


#

Cornelia Parker's installation in the House is fitting right in with the weather outside! #uksnow We hope you're all staying warm and dry #CorneliaParker pic.twitter.com/mz6ZiEMY1n

— Kettle's Yard (@kettlesyard) March 1, 2018

Postlude :


More to come...






















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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

#LubainaHimid at Tate Modern : Interactions with visuals and their soundtracks in spacious galleries

#LubainaHimid at Tate Modern : Interactions with visuals and their soundtracks in spacious galleries

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

21 August

#LubainaHimid at Tate Modern : Interactions with visuals and their soundtracks in spacious galleries

After #UCFF's first look at #LubainaHimid's show at Tate M., a pleasant and refreshing drink was had on the terrace this side (initially solus, till a pair who facially seemed father and son arrived) :

*Not* stormy at all, but the exposure was slightly altered for detail's sake. pic.twitter.com/6mDQlkfYPO

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 21, 2022

As the wall-note for the work acknowledges, and one can hear in the video-clip, the interaction between #LubainaHimid's work and the soundtrack by Magda Stawarska-Beavan is another powerful part of the whole - one of several collaborations in the show, which is on till 2 October. pic.twitter.com/2NPYRey4TU

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

The Not The Nine O'Clock News Tweets (work in compilation)

The Not The Nine O'Clock News Tweets (work in compilation)

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

The Not The Nine O'Clock News Tweets (work in compilation)

On this MCMXCV DVD compilation, the classic '*What* is the a-lee-bee ?' sketch, but Griff Rhys Jones is also riotously hilarious in mimicking Bamber Gascoigne¹, Robert Robinson² and Sir Robert Mark³ ! :)

¹ Wormwood Scrubs v. Parkhurst.

² Ask The Family.

³ *That* advert ! pic.twitter.com/iAOi1bT7vN

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 20, 2022

There's always this solace ? :https://t.co/Jfuvfq9fy3

[NB It's also Mel Smith]

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 20, 2022

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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Sickert's nudes are frankly unattractive : 'What's in a name ?'

Sickert's nudes are frankly unattractive : 'What's in a name ?'

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

19 August

Sickert's nudes are frankly unattractive : 'What's in a name ?'

We felt sure that Sickert would approve of this spontaneous gesture... pic.twitter.com/Og6I0dMGWa

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 19, 2022

Saint Nicholas added Freudian undertones.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

Satan never arm-wrestled Fred Unwin.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 20, 2022

Scheherazade naughtily admonishes fervent usurpers.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 21, 2022

Schoenberg nakedly argued formal untruths.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 20, 2022

Schumann notated academic fugues unhesitantly.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 25, 2022

Scriabin naturally articulated fundamental uncertainties.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 20, 2022

Seurat nastily approved Fauvist uniforms.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

Séverine negotiated a French underpass.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

Sexists normally appreciate French underwear.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

Sickert's nudes are frankly unattractive.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

Sinatra neatly appropriated Fauré's uvula.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

Sinners notionally accept final unction.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 23, 2022

Siri normally agitates frustrated users.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 21, 2022

Snort Novocaine and feel unwell.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 21, 2022

Somehow, Noah's ark feels unwanted.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 27, 2022

Sometimes, Nature allows fruitful union.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 23, 2022

Sophocles needled Æschylus from underneath.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 27, 2022

Stalin's nuclear arsenal fostered unease.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

Stanley, Norman and Fletcher - united !#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

Streisand nasally abjured formal understudies.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 21, 2022

Strontium nitrate accelerates fatal unconsciousness.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

Strozzi nominally adopted frontal undress.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 25, 2022

Surely, naturists are frequently unclothed ?#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 19, 2022

Syria arrested all five unicyclists.#InAName

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 22, 2022

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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Movies you consider to be absolutely PERFECT… You wouldn’t change a single thing about them : #UCFF's Four Films

Movies you consider to be absolutely PERFECT… You wouldn’t change a single thing about them

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

28 July

Movies you consider to be absolutely PERFECT… You wouldn’t change a single thing about them : #UCFF's Four Films

What are 1-4 movies you consider to be absolutely PERFECT… you wouldn’t change a single thing about them? pic.twitter.com/PO2yd0yXnn

— ✨ Hollywood Yesterday ✨ (@HollywoodYeste1) July 28, 2022

Chronological order :

1) Offret (The Sacrifice) (1986) pic.twitter.com/eI1wMx7NqF

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 28, 2022

2) Le mari de la coiffeuse (The Hairdresser's Husband) (1990) pic.twitter.com/HdYVFElp3P

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 28, 2022

Bonus pics ! pic.twitter.com/Mgn7sK9B1V

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 28, 2022

4) Kosmos (2009)

ENDS pic.twitter.com/RTNcrL6rfV

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 28, 2022

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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Report from York Early Music Festival : Paul McCreesh, Gabrieli Consort & Players and Venezia, 1595 (work in progress)

Report from York Early Music Festival : Paul McCreesh, Gabrieli Consort & Players and Venezia, 1595

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

13 July

Report from York Early Music Festival : Paul McCreesh, Gabrieli Consort & Players and Venezia, 1595 (work in progress)

What an entrance! ⁦@BBCRadio3⁩ ⁦@hannahcfrench⁩ ⁦@bonaomi1⁩ - there’s still time to tune in #yemf ⁦@GabrieliCandP⁩ pic.twitter.com/B0m5rPQFca

— NCEM (@yorkearlymusic) July 13, 2022

A superb evening, with @yorkearlymusic, at @York_Minster earlier - transporting us to Venezia, April 1595* !

* When Elizabeth I still had nearly eight more years to reign, and Shakespeare had just written A Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo and Juliet [https://t.co/behzR1WGWQ].

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 14, 2022

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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

#CrapAdverts : #SpamFolderTreasures and the like

#CrapAdverts : #SpamFolderTreasures and the like

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

2 July

#CrapAdverts : #SpamFolderTreasures and the like

Maybe it's meant to function as click*-bait, but this really isn't a good visual image to conjure :

'Waves of blood flooding your penis to-night'

* Or cock.#CrapAdverts

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 10, 2024

To work as click-bait, head-line claims have to get you wanting to click... but are these just too fanciful... ?#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/PH9sDmz5jO

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 29, 2024

Now with all the allure, let alone the authority or credentials, of the pre-ironic Ladybird-books, The Teledrone has resorted to this sort of nonsensical copy as 'content'...#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/6L68lVCCeT

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 24, 2024

Not even a pretence of 'a story', though, as the link takes us straight through to whatever Professional Immigration Consultants of Canada have to say... :https://t.co/2urVCk4Nk1

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 14, 2024

The story (i.e. advertising-feature), headed the same, is here :https://t.co/BTWRuczfBO

2 / 2

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 9, 2024

If you can, construe the contradiction as amounting to a problem :

Where to buy the bag that's everywhere#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/zbxSMjl5xq

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 6, 2024

'Are you looking... at *me* ?'

A piece of clickbait, to confuse us whether the person staring us downishly - the expression's hard to characterize - is an aggrieved customer, a customer's representative, a bailiff who's grabbed the keys to the motor or a seller !#CrapAdverts ? pic.twitter.com/eOQHzjxzgJ

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 5, 2024

Depends, really, what's being advertised (other than sun- or summer-dresses and sandals) ? ;)#MaeWestKnows#CrapAdverts ? pic.twitter.com/ydj6EeHE3j

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 1, 2024

² That could be an apt observation, one also imagines.

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 29, 2024

According to Arkwright ? ;)

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 10, 2024

** Or, is it, unbeatable ?

Maybe 'The best meat-balls south of The Clyde' ?

Who Knows !

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 10, 2024

Well, let's say that it's all part of trying to make a buck (or not making one ?) ! pic.twitter.com/bgLlbBWRvc

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 11, 2024

If a knee-sleeve were, as the uninvited advert suggests, 'ground-breaking', wouldn't one have fallen v. heavily ?#CrapAdverts

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 9, 2024

If they *thought* that 'prosthetic' was a better buzz-word (than 'prostate'), or that different ages would attract more attention, be sure that the same tips about paper-clips, knitting-needles, knotting or clamping would suddenly be applicable...#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/TpvMJ33AJQ

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 10, 2024

Sadly, this fuel-company - whatever one thinks of heating oil, etc. - also can't spell...#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/8UiVv8JRqb

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 5, 2024

'The human brain holds a lot of [pieces of information ?], most of them [sic] are from what we learned in grade school'

1) Any science behind this Homo sapiens exceptionalism [even if other creatures don't attend schools] ?

2) Do learn grammar at grade school !#CrapAdverts https://t.co/bKOwoCCCfD

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 27, 2023

Er, I think that he thinks that we'll think that this trashy video :

1) Isn't worse than Johnson's 'oven-ready deal' thing that won him* 12/12/2019,

2) Any other Sunak cringe-moments, and

3) Depicts a hard-working mensch-of-a-guy, with his sleeves rolled up, saving us all !

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 27, 2023

To #UCFF, this as easily resembles a promotional video for a container-port...#CrapAdverts https://t.co/DUViPOYSVF

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 24, 2023

Even in context, Cypher (Joe Pantoliano) knows that the steak that he's about to taste isn't real :https://t.co/PavsEITtqH

Maybe not such a good choice of clip - unless whoever places orders through you is genuinely indifferent whether the food exists... ? ;)

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 16, 2023

Seems like it's Bound for #CrapAdverts... pic.twitter.com/PllC5m5Ucm

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 16, 2023

Well !

For parents who don't think it through or even want their children to be like those dogs that lick everything in sight...

Best used for gifts between adults, I guess ?#CrapAdverts- https://t.co/rjxR9c7HnF

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 4, 2023

If it's this best-seller 'on Amazon', surely no one's going to be much surprised that it's 'on sale right now', are they... ? ;)#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/6GSUzgjXWv

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 5, 2023

Not for the first time, one's unsure of claims about the product's USP, but, here, it may be :

a) One's luggage hovers in the green countryside,

b) Spectral birds of the air venerate it, and

c) It creates a similarly curious map-outline around a nearby tree ?#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/L6M4cE7UiM

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 5, 2023

This time :

1) As when strangers call you by name, after a conference, because you're still wearing your badge but

2) With 'the benefit' that people are also craning *their* neck to stare at your chest#AlwaysOnDuty

Same old grim-sounding slogan...#CrapAdverts https://t.co/nRDq205r3n

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 16, 2023

#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/qyhQyujHBg

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 11, 2023

Even if it were 'For the woman *in* my life', someone would 'get it in the neck' for writing such a fatuous birthday greeting ! :)#CrapAdverts https://t.co/HnztBF9sOG

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 4, 2023

What if I'm not called Daniel (and she's not Sophie) ? ;)

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 26, 2023

Plus 'From your heart to her neck' ? ! https://t.co/GBzRuHXS8j

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 26, 2023

By far your strangest image yet !#CrapAdverts https://t.co/b34yTRXYwN

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 24, 2023

The backpack of the future is here. 🌌
It’s surreal how it combines an innovative design with pockets for organization 💻, RFID protection 💳 & USB charging port 🔋. But it is real, and it can be yours!

— Nordace (@NordaceOfficial) June 26, 2023

No doubt this is *intended to be* a promise of excellence and satisfaction...

But could it also be read differently - as a veiled threat... ?

[Certainly, leaving the special item unattended at what looks like Versailles might guarantee not seeing it again !]#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/jRgqs57mFX

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 13, 2023

They're right, you know - no ordinary pair of shoes visits the beach on its own to see a fossilized pork pie ! pic.twitter.com/SfeJwcHoL7

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 7, 2023

Does anyone really equate a pulsating ninja triffid on speed with the tranquillity that most people seek in a garden ? ;)#CrapAdverts https://t.co/mJVmPb9tCp

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 30, 2023

Now using the phrase twice on their sign-in page*, HSBC really do think that one can grow money** - but not on trees... ?

* At : https://t.co/9EgpAMBO0U.

** The head-line has long read as if one plans money and then grows it - a bit like designing a garden ?#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/bHo0Yx8zP7

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 25, 2023

Only maybe more useful, if your name is, er, Simon ? ;)#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/mjbyKGfpd8

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 7, 2023

Sitting on the floor, grinning at a pizza amidst one's removal-boxes, is HSBC's idea of treating one's self :

'Enjoy a £30 eGift Card when you buy combined buildings and contents insurance with us by 12 June 2023' pic.twitter.com/5UufXeuzyd

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 31, 2023

Shot on the set for an adaptation of Elias Canetti's novel Die Blendung ? pic.twitter.com/P5q3FOavoy

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 4, 2023

Clearly, not a head-line written by a speaker of British English :

The corgis will win ! ;)#SpamFolderTreasures, etc. pic.twitter.com/7AHmvIvTfI

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 11, 2022

How many people are gonna look... ? ;)#ClickbaitPredictions#CrapAdverts pic.twitter.com/wgfsSGXntf

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 11, 2022

Who is is tweeting from this account? The language is so odd and intemperate. https://t.co/PNNYu1Uuri

— Matthew Sweet (@DrMatthewSweet) September 4, 2022

The worth of a person does *not* consist in the abundance of that person's possessions ?

[Vincent van Gogh is a Very Poor Choice for this exercise in monetization !] https://t.co/ypIqfdtB9Q

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 2, 2022

'Crazy Manhood "Twist" Makes It 48% Bigger' :

Those who try *may be* Frequent Flyers at A&E...#SpamFolderTreasures#CrapAdverts

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 18, 2022

One hopes that the research reads better than that sentence, if it's meant to get people interested ! https://t.co/Cunr5tinrU

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 14, 2022

Also, more prominently, seems to show a pillow ? ;)

Already added to #UCFF at '#CrapAdverts : #SpamFolderTreasures and the like' :https://t.co/WmBxDxqx1v

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 3, 2022

Choice pickings from the Spam folder ! :

'Apsley, find out how much weight you can probably lose'

Where, if one doesn't know the language, one's tempting e-mail ends up being too candid...#SpamFolderTreasures

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 2, 2022

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Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)