The Invented Quotations [and Ascriptions] : A Compendium (in chronological order)

The Invented Quotations [and Ascriptions] : A Compendium (in chronological order)

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

20 September

The Invented Quotations [and Ascriptions] : A Compendium (in chronological order)

Invent the riposte, and attribute it to Jean Harlow, Joan Rivers, Tony Curtis, Walter Matthau, etc.*, as you see fit ! ;)#YouAreMakingUpYourOwnJokesNow - literally

* Though unlikely, perhaps, that *all of them* worked on the gag ? Unless... : https://t.co/OL1fPtbVBe

2 / 2

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 15, 2021

A plain deal table - and, maybe, a plate of tepid tapioca - is all that any of us needs ~ Mark Twain pic.twitter.com/v56rbohGn8

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 19, 2020

If one is but kind to London, see how it does, indeed, reciprocate ~ Samuel Johnson

If you are called Jonson, it shouldn't be spelt Johnson ~ Ben Jonson

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 14, 2020

Poor people are just rich people who don't have any money ~ Mark Twain

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) April 3, 2021

More than the question whether the sex act itself is ridiculous or demeaning is the matter of all the things that the sexes do to achieve, adulterate or avoid it ~ Joan Rivers

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 1, 2021

When a man is tired of London, he may use his One-Day Travelcard to go home again ~ Ben Jonson

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 2, 2021

Parties are, generally, to be endured, forgotten, or recalled unbidden, and with the accompanying cold sweat ~ Walter Matthau

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 5, 2021

The only thing that astounds me more than your lack of sincerity is your sincere and deep indifference to its easily being found out ~ Arthur Conan Doyle

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 20, 2021

If ever the claimed good intentions behind the objects of a charitable institution come under sorry scrutiny, 'tis oddly most likely in the particulars of how it gainfully offers employment to those who are - or are entitled to be - its stated beneficiaries ~ Benjamin Franklin

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 22, 2021

If a person kisses a fish, the person may be happy, but the fish will not be ~ Voltaire

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

As LBJ privately told JFK, it's these kids who are low-achievers - objectively considering the advantages that they've already had in life - but think that they can sort out everyone else's lives who are the problem ~ Henry Miller

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

Brinkmanship simply has no meaning when everyone has now seen your hand (which they anyway knew had nothing in it) ~ Montaigne https://t.co/D3uAZUn8bF

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

Although, despite the frost,
The Night Sky was not
Crisply - not so sharply -
Defin'd, 'twas to me
Comfort to look - and see.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson#OneLovelyThingToDay

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 5, 2022

Through the words of Bond, his soulless creature, Fleming tried to persuade us that he had known, but rejected, the pleasures of longer immersion in hot water :

One can barely credit that the man had ever been run, let alone taken, a bath worth the having. ~ Flann O'Brien

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 12, 2022

As Rimsky once remarked, it may be that the best of Pyotr Ilyich's symphonic writing is not to be found in his Symphonies ~ Leonard Bernstein https://t.co/EAof8ySLSK

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 1, 2022

'Even with the sound off, the stench both of the finger-wagging and from the hideous assurance that comes from having so much capital that one can spout fantasies* makes me hasten to beckon the servant with the bucket and refreshing lemon-infused towel !' ~ Evelyn Waugh

1 / 2

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 14, 2022

Deceit is an unnecessary, but frequently present, part of political and public life ~ Thomas Hardy

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 30, 2022

Whatever set-backs there may have been, some will turn out to be blessings in disguise - and blessings are always worth being grateful for ! ~ Novalis

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 12, 2023

Oh, but I procure *all* mes parfums, my dear, through the caring offices of Boddle & Shrike - don't you ? ~ Oscar Wilde

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 11, 2023

Love-apples, Hodge ? They are but an riotous fruit ! ~ Samuel Johnson

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 13, 2023

When 'being sporty', it is essential to wear sporty clothes : if not, people may not think that you're serious about it, or, even worse, realize that that's what you're doing ~ Stephen Potter [a paraphrase]

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 17, 2023

Cromer Delicacies [according to Mark Twain*] :

Jellied adder's tail or marinaded Jersey-herd udder

* Allegedly.

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 9, 2023

The decline of standards in public life or politics is epitomized by this analogy : a fresh turd on a packed coach whose windows won't open, but with passengers who all seem to have lost their sense of smell ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 9, 2023

The first demotic record, in English, of what appears to have been a lunar eclipse suggests that witnessing it may have given rise to some strange - not to say wildly transgressive - behaviour ! ~ G. K. Chestertonhttps://t.co/S3N84U2KMp

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 29, 2023

A cheery face, even if it's but a chimæra of one's own construing, can still be a comfort ~ Peter Lorre#OneLovelyThingToDay pic.twitter.com/CbnuZDxial

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 23, 2023

An examined life may still not be a life will led, but it has more chance of being so than one left unexamined ~ Henrik Ibsen

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 2, 2023

I prefer arm-rests to arm-wrestling, but I don't like either very much ~ John Wayne

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 6, 2023

Very probably, there *is* a special place reserved in Hell for those who assert that such a place is reserved for those who trivially annoy their sensibilities with, say, how they eat their food in company ~ Dante Alighieri

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 1, 2023

Might being attentive and seeking not to be inauthentic be - or seem to be - all that one needs do in life ? ~ Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 1, 2024

Toasted Bagels and a Bath at Noon would make an excellent title for one's memoirs ~ Serge Koussevitzky

Discuss.

How would you answer differ, if you had :

1) Read Oblomov (1859), by Ivan Goncharov ? and / or

2) Been an author who had been compared to its titular head ?

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 21, 2024

As Dostoyevsky maybe once said, what we might imagine to be the arrogance of youth is actually its insecurity :

All too aware *that* it is, but - not yet (ever ?) knowing *why* it is - repeating the mistake of over-emphatically announcing its presence.https://t.co/Hmen3gyRfu

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 8, 2024

When it comes down to it, friends who sometimes prove to be an irritatant are one thing, essentially : irritating ~ Victor Hugo

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 12, 2024

Even the much-maligned Compositor D (?) took more skill in setting the works of Shakespeare than he did in writing them ~ Frank Muir

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 13, 2024

Those infamous words are perhaps better understood as Machtfreie Arbeit : Power-free work ~ E. B. White

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 24, 2024

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

The Invented Quotations [and Ascriptions] : A Compendium (in reverse chronological order)

The Invented Quotations [and Ascriptions] : A Compendium (in reverse chronological order)

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

20 September

The Invented Quotations [and Ascriptions] : A Compendium (in reverse chronological order)

'Even with the sound off, the stench both of the finger-wagging and from the hideous assurance that comes from having so much capital that one can spout fantasies* makes me hasten to beckon the servant with the bucket and refreshing lemon-infused towel !' ~ Evelyn Waugh

1 / 2

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 14, 2022

Those infamous words are perhaps better understood as Machtfreie Arbeit : Power-free work ~ E. B. White

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 24, 2024

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Even the much-maligned Compositor D (?) took more skill in setting the works of Shakespeare than he did in writing them ~ Frank Muir

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 13, 2024

When it comes down to it, friends who sometimes prove to be an irritatant are one thing, essentially : irritating ~ Victor Hugo

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 12, 2024

As Dostoyevsky maybe once said, what we might imagine to be the arrogance of youth is actually its insecurity :

All too aware *that* it is, but - not yet (ever ?) knowing *why* it is - repeating the mistake of over-emphatically announcing its presence.https://t.co/Hmen3gyRfu

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 8, 2024

Toasted Bagels and a Bath at Noon would make an excellent title for one's memoirs ~ Serge Koussevitzky

Discuss.

How would you answer differ, if you had :

1) Read Oblomov (1859), by Ivan Goncharov ? and / or

2) Been an author who had been compared to its titular head ?

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 21, 2024

Might being attentive and seeking not to be inauthentic be - or seem to be - all that one needs do in life ? ~ Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 1, 2024

Very probably, there *is* a special place reserved in Hell for those who assert that such a place is reserved for those who trivially annoy their sensibilities with, say, how they eat their food in company ~ Dante Alighieri

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 1, 2023

I prefer arm-rests to arm-wrestling, but I don't like either very much ~ John Wayne

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 6, 2023

An examined life may still not be a life will led, but it has more chance of being so than one left unexamined ~ Henrik Ibsen

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 2, 2023

A cheery face, even if it's but a chimæra of one's own construing, can still be a comfort ~ Peter Lorre#OneLovelyThingToDay pic.twitter.com/CbnuZDxial

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 23, 2023

The first demotic record, in English, of what appears to have been a lunar eclipse suggests that witnessing it may have given rise to some strange - not to say wildly transgressive - behaviour ! ~ G. K. Chestertonhttps://t.co/S3N84U2KMp

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 29, 2023

The decline of standards in public life or politics is epitomized by this analogy : a fresh turd on a packed coach whose windows won't open, but with passengers who all seem to have lost their sense of smell ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 9, 2023

Cromer Delicacies [according to Mark Twain*] :

Jellied adder's tail or marinaded Jersey-herd udder

* Allegedly.

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 9, 2023

When 'being sporty', it is essential to wear sporty clothes : if not, people may not think that you're serious about it, or, even worse, realize that that's what you're doing ~ Stephen Potter [a paraphrase]

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 17, 2023

Love-apples, Hodge ? They are but an riotous fruit ! ~ Samuel Johnson

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 13, 2023

Oh, but I procure *all* mes parfums, my dear, through the caring offices of Boddle & Shrike - don't you ? ~ Oscar Wilde

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 11, 2023

Whatever set-backs there may have been, some will turn out to be blessings in disguise - and blessings are always worth being grateful for ! ~ Novalis

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 12, 2023

Deceit is an unnecessary, but frequently present, part of political and public life ~ Thomas Hardy

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 30, 2022

'Even with the sound off, the stench both of the finger-wagging and from the hideous assurance that comes from having so much capital that one can spout fantasies* makes me hasten to beckon the servant with the bucket and refreshing lemon-infused towel !' ~ Evelyn Waugh

1 / 2

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 14, 2022

As Rimsky once remarked, it may be that the best of Pyotr Ilyich's symphonic writing is not to be found in his Symphonies ~ Leonard Bernstein https://t.co/EAof8ySLSK

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 1, 2022

Through the words of Bond, his soulless creature, Fleming tried to persuade us that he had known, but rejected, the pleasures of longer immersion in hot water :

One can barely credit that the man had ever been run, let alone taken, a bath worth the having. ~ Flann O'Brien

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 12, 2022

Invent the riposte, and attribute it to Jean Harlow, Joan Rivers, Tony Curtis, Walter Matthau, etc.*, as you see fit ! ;)#YouAreMakingUpYourOwnJokesNow - literally

* Though unlikely, perhaps, that *all of them* worked on the gag ? Unless... : https://t.co/OL1fPtbVBe

2 / 2

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 15, 2021

Although, despite the frost,
The Night Sky was not
Crisply - not so sharply -
Defin'd, 'twas to me
Comfort to look - and see.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson#OneLovelyThingToDay

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 5, 2022

Brinkmanship simply has no meaning when everyone has now seen your hand (which they anyway knew had nothing in it) ~ Montaigne https://t.co/D3uAZUn8bF

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

As LBJ privately told JFK, it's these kids who are low-achievers - objectively considering the advantages that they've already had in life - but think that they can sort out everyone else's lives who are the problem ~ Henry Miller

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

If a person kisses a fish, the person may be happy, but the fish will not be ~ Voltaire

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

If ever the claimed good intentions behind the objects of a charitable institution come under sorry scrutiny, 'tis oddly most likely in the particulars of how it gainfully offers employment to those who are - or are entitled to be - its stated beneficiaries ~ Benjamin Franklin

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 22, 2021

The only thing that astounds me more than your lack of sincerity is your sincere and deep indifference to its easily being found out ~ Arthur Conan Doyle

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 20, 2021

Parties are, generally, to be endured, forgotten, or recalled unbidden, and with the accompanying cold sweat ~ Walter Matthau

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 5, 2021

When a man is tired of London, he may use his One-Day Travelcard to go home again ~ Ben Jonson

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 2, 2021

More than the question whether the sex act itself is ridiculous or demeaning is the matter of all the things that the sexes do to achieve, adulterate or avoid it ~ Joan Rivers

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 1, 2021

Poor people are just rich people who don't have any money ~ Mark Twain

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) April 3, 2021

If one is but kind to London, see how it does, indeed, reciprocate ~ Samuel Johnson

If you are called Jonson, it shouldn't be spelt Johnson ~ Ben Jonson

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 14, 2020

A plain deal table - and, maybe, a plate of tepid tapioca - is all that any of us needs ~ Mark Twain pic.twitter.com/v56rbohGn8

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 19, 2020

As LBJ privately told JFK, it's these kids who are low-achievers - objectively considering the advantages that they've already had in life - but think that they can sort out everyone else's lives who are the problem ~ Henry Miller

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

The Invented Quotations [and Ascriptions] : A Compendium (in 'author' order)

The Invented Quotations [and Ascriptions] : A Compendium

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

20 September

The Invented Quotations [and Ascriptions] : A Compendium (in 'author' order)

Invent the riposte, and attribute it to Jean Harlow, Joan Rivers, Tony Curtis, Walter Matthau, etc.*, as you see fit ! ;)#YouAreMakingUpYourOwnJokesNow - literally

* Though unlikely, perhaps, that *all of them* worked on the gag ? Unless... : https://t.co/OL1fPtbVBe

2 / 2

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 15, 2021

Very probably, there *is* a special place reserved in Hell for those who assert that such a place is reserved for those who trivially annoy their sensibilities with, say, how they eat their food in company ~ Dante Alighieri

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) December 1, 2023

The only thing that astounds me more than your lack of sincerity is your sincere and deep indifference to its easily being found out ~ Arthur Conan Doyle

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 20, 2021

As Rimsky once remarked, it may be that the best of Pyotr Ilyich's symphonic writing is not to be found in his Symphonies ~ Leonard Bernstein https://t.co/EAof8ySLSK

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 1, 2022

The first demotic record, in English, of what appears to have been a lunar eclipse suggests that witnessing it may have given rise to some strange - not to say wildly transgressive - behaviour ! ~ G. K. Chestertonhttps://t.co/S3N84U2KMp

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 29, 2023

As Dostoyevsky maybe once said, what we might imagine to be the arrogance of youth is actually its insecurity :

All too aware *that* it is, but - not yet (ever ?) knowing *why* it is - repeating the mistake of over-emphatically announcing its presence.https://t.co/Hmen3gyRfu

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 8, 2024

If ever the claimed good intentions behind the objects of a charitable institution come under sorry scrutiny, 'tis oddly most likely in the particulars of how it gainfully offers employment to those who are - or are entitled to be - its stated beneficiaries ~ Benjamin Franklin

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 22, 2021

A plain penguin is no match for a fancy penguin, but a pretty penguin surpasses all ~ John Gielgud

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 12, 2022

Deceit is an unnecessary, but frequently present, part of political and public life ~ Thomas Hardy

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 30, 2022

When it comes down to it, friends who sometimes prove to be an irritatant are one thing, essentially : irritating ~ Victor Hugo

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 12, 2024

An examined life may still not be a life will led, but it has more chance of being so than one left unexamined ~ Henrik Ibsen

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 2, 2023

If one is but kind to London, see how it does, indeed, reciprocate ~ Samuel Johnson

If you are called Jonson, it shouldn't be spelt Johnson ~ Ben Jonson

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 14, 2020

Love-apples, Hodge ? They are but an riotous fruit ! ~ Samuel Johnson

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 13, 2023

When a man is tired of London, he may use his One-Day Travelcard to go home again ~ Ben Jonson

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 2, 2021

Toasted Bagels and a Bath at Noon would make an excellent title for one's memoirs ~ Serge Koussevitzky

Discuss.

How would you answer differ, if you had :

1) Read Oblomov (1859), by Ivan Goncharov ? and / or

2) Been an author who had been compared to its titular head ?

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 21, 2024

Might being attentive and seeking not to be inauthentic be - or seem to be - all that one needs do in life ? ~ Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 1, 2024

A cheery face, even if it's but a chimæra of one's own construing, can still be a comfort ~ Peter Lorre#OneLovelyThingToDay pic.twitter.com/CbnuZDxial

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 23, 2023

Parties are, generally, to be endured, forgotten, or recalled unbidden, and with the accompanying cold sweat ~ Walter Matthau

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 5, 2021

As LBJ privately told JFK, it's these kids who are low-achievers - objectively considering the advantages that they've already had in life - but think that they can sort out everyone else's lives who are the problem ~ Henry Miller

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

Brinkmanship simply has no meaning when everyone has now seen your hand (which they anyway knew had nothing in it) ~ Montaigne https://t.co/D3uAZUn8bF

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

The decline of standards in public life or politics is epitomized by this analogy : a fresh turd on a packed coach whose windows won't open, but with passengers who all seem to have lost their sense of smell ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 9, 2023

Even the much-maligned Compositor D (?) took more skill in setting the works of Shakespeare than he did in writing them ~ Frank Muir

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 13, 2024

Whatever set-backs there may have been, some will turn out to be blessings in disguise - and blessings are always worth being grateful for ! ~ Novalis

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) February 12, 2023

Through the words of Bond, his soulless creature, Fleming tried to persuade us that he had known, but rejected, the pleasures of longer immersion in hot water :

One can barely credit that the man had ever been run, let alone taken, a bath worth the having. ~ Flann O'Brien

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 12, 2022

I 'love' about the writing of Henry James that beyond the middle of The Golden Bowl, for example, one can be sure that the pair of leading characters *must have* had sexual relations, but, even by re-reading the likely chapter, one can never work out where ~ S. J. Perelman

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 17, 2021

When 'being sporty', it is essential to wear sporty clothes : if not, people may not think that you're serious about it, or, even worse, realize that that's what you're doing ~ Stephen Potter [a paraphrase]

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 17, 2023

More than the question whether the sex act itself is ridiculous or demeaning is the matter of all the things that the sexes do to achieve, adulterate or avoid it ~ Joan Rivers

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 1, 2021

Although, despite the frost,
The Night Sky was not
Crisply - not so sharply -
Defin'd, 'twas to me
Comfort to look - and see.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson#OneLovelyThingToDay

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 5, 2022

A plain deal table - and, maybe, a plate of tepid tapioca - is all that any of us needs ~ Mark Twain pic.twitter.com/v56rbohGn8

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) January 19, 2020

Poor people are just rich people who don't have any money ~ Mark Twain

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) April 3, 2021

Cromer Delicacies [according to Mark Twain*] :

Jellied adder's tail or marinaded Jersey-herd udder

* Allegedly.

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) June 9, 2023

If a person kisses a fish, the person may be happy, but the fish will not be ~ Voltaire

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

'Even with the sound off, the stench both of the finger-wagging and from the hideous assurance that comes from having so much capital that one can spout fantasies* makes me hasten to beckon the servant with the bucket and refreshing lemon-infused towel !' ~ Evelyn Waugh

1 / 2

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 14, 2022

I prefer arm-rests to arm-wrestling, but I don't like either very much ~ John Wayne

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) November 6, 2023

Those infamous words are perhaps better understood as Machtfreie Arbeit : Power-free work ~ E. B. White

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) July 24, 2024

Oh, but I procure *all* mes parfums, my dear, through the caring offices of Boddle & Shrike - don't you ? ~ Oscar Wilde

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) March 11, 2023

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Notes on Nomadland (2020)

Notes on Nomadland (2020)

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

1 August

Notes on Nomadland (2020)

Weight for weight, Mullan's performance was better, for McDormand too often simply looked Determined, Frightened or Contented, and - possibly dictated by the needs of non-professional cast ? - was hardly in a frame with a character until David Strathairn's (i.e. reaction-shots).

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 1, 2021

img Whatever else may have been nominated, if Frances McDormand in Nomadland (2020) could merit Best Picture in The Academy Awards or Best Film in The BAFTAs, then so did Peter Mullan in Hector (2015), except that it wasn't even in contention.







































If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

The Costa confusions (work in progress)

The Costa confusions (work in progress)

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

14 September

The Costa confusions (work in progress)

There was a chance, this afternoon, to snap evidence of the continued existence of this radical form of incoherence, seemingly perpetuated in English-speaking countries as if the writer(s) of the text betrayed having spoken the language in earnest :

1 / 3 pic.twitter.com/jaUeWGfiTE

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 15, 2021

M. C. Escher would be delighted, as might J. K. Rowling - with the case of Harry, seeing himself and his patronus in The Prisoner of Azkaban, and mistaking them for his father and his, thereby bringing about a change in his own behaviour (for which he is the origin)...

3 / 3 pic.twitter.com/wsMMjo9zMH

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 15, 2021

Th'Agent humbly suggests a re-write :

WARNING

This pull-cord allows a disabled person to activate an alarm to call help :

On hearing the alarm, staff will immediately enter the toilet to assist with the emergency https://t.co/mEGN1VrypY

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 15, 2021

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Aidan Shingler, collecting, and finding some things (valuable), but ignoring others wholescale

Aidan Shingler, collecting, and finding some things (valuable), but ignoring others wholescale

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

10 September

Aidan Shingler, collecting, and finding some things (valuable), but ignoring others wholescale

When psychiatrists and other interested persons¹ say xyz's 'symptomatic of this type of case', it's a circular argument² :

To patients, it may sound as if all they experience just gets added to a roof-space repository of diagnoses where Rochester's wife is meant to stay.#attic

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 10, 2021

² On a surgical ward, there might be links in background, diet, phenotype that give rise more regularly to operation A via condition B.

Psychiatrists see many people who've been in collisions, but, though operating in an emergency, ignore it all for their chosen similarities³.

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 11, 2021

³ Aidan Shingler's powerful show in Durham Cathedral in the late 1990s exerted traction by pointing out a parallel in lepidopterology (the desire to collect specimens), as referenced here :https://t.co/FTnqiUYxPvhttps://t.co/9nDRWhPxxE

Beyond Reason ~ ISBN 9780953882106.

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 11, 2021

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Enchanted, again, by Charade (1963)

Enchanted, again, by Charade (1963)

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

28 August

Enchanted, again, by Charade (1963)

You're allowed to kiss back.
Oh, no. The doctor said it was bad for my... thermostat.
(They kiss.)
Well, when you come on, you come on, don't you ? !
Well... *come on* !#AllTheSharpDialogue

Reggie / Adam

7 / 8

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 29, 2021

Is there a *Mrs* Canfield ?
Yes, but (Together.) we're divorced.
That's right. Now, go and eat your dinner.
Oh, I could eat a horse.
I think that's what you ordered.#AllTheSharpDialogue

Reggie / Adam (previously Alex)

5 / 8

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 29, 2021

Is there a Mrs Dyle ?
Yes. (Pause.) But we're divorced.
I thought that was Peter Joshua.
I'm just as difficult to live with as he was.#AllTheSharpDialogue

Reggie / Alex

3 / 8

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 29, 2021

Here you are !
Where ?
On the street, where you live.
How about once more around the park ?
How about getting out of here ? Come on, child – out !#AllTheSharpDialogue

Reggie / Peter

1 / 8

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) August 29, 2021

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Does Linux duty disappoint ?

By Tweet : Does Linux duty disappoint ?

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

3 May

By Tweet : Does Linux duty disappoint ?

Oh, I see...

[Did wonder what the fuss could be about #LinuxDuty; !]#Lineofduty#Homophones

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 2, 2021

Wouldn't one question* suffice ?#LinuxDuty#Lineofduty

* Maybe two. pic.twitter.com/TNlVTqTQ3q

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 3, 2021

For those decrying the 'journey' - if, and even if, they don't jump ship - taken with #Lineofduty;, they might take solace that one obvious entry point for Kill Bill, Volume 3, is that what the preceding Volumes have told us about Pai Mei's teaching* may be hooey... ?#LinuxDuty; https://t.co/QMLztniJxa; pic.twitter.com/p9xussi1mw

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) May 3, 2021

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

The #GratuitousLineFromShakespeare Tweets

The #GratuitousLineFromShakespeare Tweets

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

15 April

The #GratuitousLineFromShakespeare Tweets

Except that it's been in Th'Agent's mind for (on and - largely - off) c. a week, here's to-day's #GratuitousLineFromShakespeare* :

'Make me not sighted like the basilisk'

* Sparing anyone the inexactitude of the remembering (none on this occasion !), by finding (some) text...

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) April 15, 2021

[...] Perseverance, dear my lord,
Keeps honour bright [...]#GratuitousLineFromShakespeare

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) April 19, 2021

[...] Out, vile jelly !
Where is thy lustre now ?#GratuitousLineFromShakespeare

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 13, 2021

Cry, Trojans, cry ! lend me ten thousand eyes,
And I will fill them with prophetic tears.
[...]
Cry, Trojans, cry ! practise your eyes with tears !
Troy must not be, nor goodly Ilion stand ;
* Our firebrand brother, Paris, burns us all !*#GratuitousLineFromShakespeare

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 13, 2021

Banquo : How goes the night, boy ?

Fleance : The moon is down ; I have not heard the clock.#GratuitousLineFromShakespeare

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) September 21, 2021

'[...] it was
thought she was a woman and was turned into a cold
fish for she would not exchange flesh with one that
loved her : the ballad is very pitiful and as true.'#GratuitousLineFromShakespeare

For what seems a ponderous take here, read :https://t.co/8nXZMyMycT

2 / 2

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 9, 2021

The Thane of Cawdor lives. Why do you dress me
In borrowed robes ?#GratuitousLineFromShakespeare

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 13, 2021

[... 'T]is a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd.

That soliloquy !

A heckuva lot of ground that's being raced through, *as if* in Real Time. Why ?

Is Leontes, really a sort of pastiche of jealousy (?), no more or less plausible (Act I, Scene 7) ?#GratuitousLineFromShakespeare

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 30, 2021

I'm sure that it's Anathema, Heresy and Sacrilege to say it, but a canter through morality, ethics and personal morals / mores if one likens it to, say, 'Paradise Lost' (12 Books) + 'Paradise Regained' (another 4), or even Macbeth's hesitation soliloquy ?https://t.co/yNfBJczg3p https://t.co/bq8hm7xdT5

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) October 30, 2021

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)

Four Tweets about 'the cost' of being addicted to gambling

Four Tweets about 'the cost' of being addicted to gambling

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2019 (17 to 24 October)
(Click here to go directly to the Festival web-site)

7 April

Four Tweets about 'the cost' of being addicted to gambling

With the default being that Internet users have *to turn off* personalized advertisements, then, yes, their data will be used against them to target them with ones that will be attractive or tempting to them. https://t.co/rI2bBK9qb6

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) April 6, 2021

One of those so-called principles of 'the polluter pays', which, according to other principles, would require the odds of winning to become slightly more against the player, so that the polluter can accommodate the 'costs of doing business', both as a principle and as benefactor. https://t.co/r46sDVIJFe

— THE AGENT APSLEY #ScrapUniversalCredit #JC4PM2019 (@THEAGENTAPSLEY) April 6, 2021

If you want to Tweet, Tweet away here

Unless stated otherwise, all films reviewed were screened at Festival Central (Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge)