Of Cabbages and Kings

More views of - or before - Cambridge Film Festival 2012
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11 June


To Chris Bell


Heat me, said the soup.

It was not, as fictional unwanted soup is, glutinous. It looked, smelt, tasty soup. That said, it was conciliatory cabbage, begging to be eaten.

But I hated cabbage and my former lover with it. When I used to do all the cooking, why did she think that I needed a bloody food-parcel ? Good soup, trying to say I love you, I want you back, but made with what I didn’t eat – what was I, Ivan Denisovich ?

I could just have dropped the pot in the bin, but I wanted to boil it dry, cremate it in the oven, and write huge offensive slogans with the residue. The saucepan had other ideas.

Hey, it said, I’m the reincarnation of Goering : treat me with some respect ! The author of The Blitz, demanding respect from me. I heated the soup. Ate it with silent rage. It was delicious.


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